Around Town: How to get into Heaven

Around Town: How to get into Heaven
By Anita Susan Brenner


It was a warm and sunny Saturday afternoon, just inside the city limits. I sat in our living room with our friends, Roz and Larry.

Roz and Larry are nice people. It was a nice day. So, we tried not to discuss politics.

We tried not to discuss sex.
We tried not to gossip.
We tried not to complain.

But some things are beyond our mortal control.

Suddenly, the subject turned to another forbidden topic — religion. Roz started it: "A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven," Roz began. While the woman was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her, Hello! How are you? We’ve been waiting for you! Good to see you.

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, ‘This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?’

You have to spell a word, Saint Peter told her.

Which word? the woman asked.

The word was ‘love.’

"Wait at minute," I interrupted Roz. "I think I heard this one."

"No you haven’t. Don’t interrupt," she said.

Surprisingly, I remained silent. Interrupting is my worst bad habit and I wanted to improve, even if it meant let

Roz continued, telling us the woman correctly spelled love and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

I’m surprised to see you, the woman said. How have you been?

Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died, her husband told her. I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion.And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancún and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer!

That’s a shame, said his wife.

The husband looked around and said, Heaven looks swell. How do I get in?

You have to spell a word, said his wife.

Which word?

‘Czechoslovakia.’


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