Miss Hepburn is our black Lab mix, a rescue dog from the Pasadena Humane Society.
Suddenly, we heard the sound of a black helicopter. We looked up and saw a press release floating down from the Touchdown statue.
I picked it up and began to read:
WASHINGTON — The White House and top La Cañada Flintridge lawmakers said they were likely to reach agreement Monday to help failing women’s clothing stores, as congressional drafters put the finishing touches on a bill.I could read no more. Dodgers? Banks? or Talbots? It’s a tough decision.
“It sounds like we have agreement on those basic principles that would be required for a bill that the president could sign,” a White House unofficial press secretary stated.
The developing measure would create a presidentially named overseer charged with running a broad retail clothing industry restructuring, with the power to require immediate payback of the emergency loans early next year if the companies fail to take the steps necessary to overhaul themselves. It could also include a city-wide-level oversight board, based in La Canada Flintridge, said press aides and City Hall activists who outlined it on condition of anonymity because it is not yet contemplated.
“Under the plan, international specialty retailers, catalogers and e-tailer of women’s classic apparel, shoes, and accessories could get emergency loans on Dec. 25th. Then the modern classic styles in apparel, shoes and accessories, basically head-to-toe wardrobing for all occasions — from work, to weekend, to special occasion, would be available at no charge to residents within the 91011 and 91012 Zip codes.
Some local residents objected to the bailout proposal. “I’d rather see the federal funds spent on improving the Los Angeles Dodgers pitching roster,” said Rattlesnake James, a local celebrity.
Others agreed. “Ever since Duke Snider’s number (Number 4) was retired in 1980, the Dodgers have been forced to reinvent themselves. I’d rather see the bailout money go to the Dodgers to hire Manny Ramirez instead of wasting it on banks, cars or clothes,” commented the Honorable D. S. Carnahan, a local judge who witnessed La Cañada’s first hit and run case in 1905.
One likely recipient of the bailout money is the women’s retailer The Talbots, Inc., which currently employs a combined total of approximately 16,000 associates worldwide, including 12,300 associates at Talbots and 3,700 at J. Jill.
Asked if a deal could be struck for a vote as early as Monday, the Anonymous Source said, “I think it’s very likely. If you don’t look good, you can’t feel good,” she said ...
I folded the press release and put it in my favorite Apple Cart purse.
“Sounds fishy to me,” said Miss Audrey Hepburn, as we continued our walk.
On Tuesday we dismantled La Cañada’s Largest Tower of Tuna, built in the Valley Sun office. We delivered 487 cans of tuna and seven grocery bags of other foods to the North Hollywood Interfaith Food Pantry. Special thanks to Trader Joe’s and the wonderful, wonderful people who read this column..
ANITA SUSAN BRENNER is a longtime La Cañada Flintridge resident and an attorney with Law Offices of Torres and Brenner in Pasadena. E-mail her at email@example.com.
CLICK HERE FOR FULL ARTICLE La Cañada Valley Sun: La Cañada Flintridge, California Published Thursday, December 11, 2008 4:09 AM PST